keeping my hair free
you know how musicians have "eras"? it's very corny but i guess it's an easy way to refer to a certain artist's point in their career. i feel like i am starting my new "era" in a sense, where i have finally gained some semblance of confidence in myself, of course right after i stopped tying my hair into a very tight ponytail. some people were shocked when i told them i stayed the whole day with the ponytail. i slept with it, i even put clips in and kept them on WHILE sleeping. now that i'm not doing that anymore, it feels quite silly. i've had a kind of "phobia" of my hair looking messy, i needed something to hold it in place at all times, i couldn't even feel content with myself while i was sleeping, but now i'm not going to do that anymore, i'm going to embrace it. i'm going to leave my hair out, all the time. it might seem like nothing to some people, but to me it is everything. it's a change, it's a new era
of course i'd be lying if i said i wasn't nervous, especially since i only ever keep it out for special occasions (i haven't had one in ages). i went to school yesterday with my hair out, i was anxious the whole way there. i felt like the wind was messing it up, but throughout all this i came up with a new quote:
If a gust of wind were to ruin your hair, there'll be another one to put it back in place
or something like that. so yeah, i'll just embrace it, my mum thought it looked cool when it blew in the wind anyway. my hair is a bit more fussy since it's incredibly curly, sometimes it puffs up in places where i dont want it to
i've also decided to never trust my phone camera to check my appearance. i did that yesterday and i felt ugly, only to look at a mirror once reaching school and realise how i actually look
i felt a little more outgoing once i started doing this. i'm not sure what happened, but i think my hair was a bigger insecurity to me than i thought it was